January 1, 2021. I got searched more thoroughly in Boston than I have had, before or since. Sorry for length, it’s going to read like a paperback novel:New Years Eve, 2021. I was scheduled for a flight from Bakersfield to Philadelphia. It was raining hard (which always throws California for a loop) and my flight to connect in LAX would never make it in time to my connecting flight. All west coast flights were delayed. (except, of course, LAX-PHL, it would have arrived at midnight)“We can get you out tomorrow, if you come back in then”, the ticket agent told me. …New Years Day. I was doubtful - I had already checked the routes and every plane was full. My own search suggested that I might get out TWO days later. I asked them to please check anything available.“Chicago? We can get you there, but no further.” No, that didn’t do me much good. My geographically challenged agent asked me to name some cities in the east that would be acceptable.I asked, “How about Harrisburg? I know that there are several flights per day Chicago to Harrisburg, it’s closer to home.” (Although my car was in Philly, I had family members who wouldn’t mind coming to get me there and I could worry about my car later).“No, sorry. All Harrisburg planes show as being full.”“Well, even closer to home is Lancaster, Reading, and Allentown. Moving outward from there, in order, Baltimore, Newark, Dulles, National, or even JFK would do.”“I don’t see anything”, she said. “Wait a second - how about Boston? I can get you there at 6:00 AM tomorrow.”“You mean Boston, and then it’s up to me to figure out how to get home from there?”“No, no‡ I can switch you to a different airline from Boston to Philadelphia at 8:00 AM.”“OK, I’ll go with that option.” …And then the adventure began.I got to Boston as promised, with instructions to go to Special Services, where I could pick up my boarding pass. “Computer here says your flight landed in Philadelphia last night.”“I got re-booked due to weather. I could not make that flight from LAX to PHL, so now here I am”.“Noooooo. The computer says you were on that flight.”I had my drivers license, my passport, and showed them my boarding pass LAX to BOS to prove that me being 2 places simultaneously would have been impossible.The counter agent said, “I have to call somebody in management to sort this out.” At this point, I was not worried - just slightly annoyed. One call, two calls, and I could tell they were not getting much good info. By then, a policeman had wandered over, standing by silently.“We can’t call Bakersfield, where all this started, because no one is there yet, at 3:30 AM. The district manager says that what must have happened was that they didn’t change your itinerary right there and therefore shows that you made it to Philadelphia.”“Obviously not, for the reasons we’ve already discussed”, was my reply, still polite, but with some urgency creeping into my voice. The police officer moved closer.A 4th phone call. “OK, I’ve been instructed to issue a boarding pass for the Philadelphia flight. This officer will accompany you to security.”I looked at my boarding pass. “SSSS”. Circled twice in red. I had enough experience to know what that meant! Luckily (or perhaps not), it was a quiet early morning on New Years Day and not many travelers were around. They emptied out everything from my carry on, had me boot up my laptop and show them something, anything with my name on it (pretty easy since it booted to “Michael Frey” and business documents and emails were plentiful). Then came the personal search.“Would you prefer that this be done in private?”“Will I have to take my clothes off?”“No, but I will be reaching inside your shirt and belt line during the search.”“OK”Oh, he reached here, he reached there, he reached everywhere. He followed the hem lines of my underwear. A piece of paper was retrieved from pants pockets: the original printed itinerary. Everyone gathered closer to look at it, but no comments were made.“You’re free to go, Mr. Frey. Have a nice day.”…My first experience with the swab test (Fresno) was somewhat eventful also - my son is in law enforcement and he took me to the airport. More searching! Apparently, there was enough gunpowder residue in his truck that it set off the detector. I waited until the question was asked. “Did you handle a firearm today?” “No, I sat next to my son, a LEO who is fully armed, his weapon was 6 inches from my left hand”.